A Danger of Being a Dog Animaigus
by Volaiel
Summary: Sirius learns what happens to dogs caught by Animal Control. Warning: Men may want to avoid reading this.


**Disclaimer:**

This is a story on a fanfiction site. For those of you who do not know what fanfiction is and are too lazy to use a dictionary or google, google says: "fiction written by a fan of, and featuring characters from, a particular TV series, movie, etc." For those dunces too moronic to extrapolate what that means: My name is not J.K. Rowling. I do not own any rights to the Harry Potter series. Thank you.

The fact that disclaimers seem to be needed on a site dedicated to fanfiction for a story that is labeled as fanfiction is sad a statement on the collective intelligence of humanity.

* * *

"Oi! Get back here you mangy mutt!" yelled a large, muscular man. He was in jeans and a jacket that indicated he was with animal control. A black dog sprinted down the green-lined sidewalk in front of him.

' _No way in hell.'_ Thought Sirius, sprinting frantically down the street. He did not intend to be captured by a muggle. He remembered Lily talking about animal shelters. If this damned muggle caught him, he could be locked away instead of continuing his stakeout. The Order had recently received confirmation that Avery was higher up in Voldemort's ranks than they had previously believed, and, if they could prove it, this could be their big break. If they were able to discover Voldemort's location, they could end the war in a single strike.

The large black dog panted deeply, lungs burning, as he sprinted hard through the park. Thankfully, his dog form was fast and agile. He would not have any issues outrunning a single muggle. He took a right at the next fork in the trail and then another left.

Eventually, the muggle's shouting faded and Sirius look around. He was finally alone. He lay on the ground, panting with exertion. As he lay there, he wondered what he should do now. The muggles that hiked in this park had called in Animal Control, which he gathered was a group of muggles dedicated to rounding up wild dogs, when he had been seen lurking about the Avery's home for the last week.

He had chosen to join the stakeout because the man had been known to detect people using invisibility spells and cloaks. Initially, he had been in rotation with James and Pettigrew, but some of the local muggles had tried to kill Prongs with a gun. Lily informed them that it was hunting season.

Now he and Wormtail were the only two on the stakeout, so they each took five hours a day watching the house. Without James, they could not even watch for a full day. Now the muggles were stopping him, too! How were they supposed to protect these muggles when they were always trying to kill or capture them? Sirius sighed.

' _I guess that I'll try to find a spot where I'm not as visible, for now,'_ he decided. After he had caught his breath, Sirius rose to his feet and sniffed the ground. It was easy to follow his scent trail back toward Avery's house.

As he approached the park entrance, he spotted a good-looking young woman sitting in the back of a van. She had an hourglass figure and had to be at least a D-cup! Her blue shirt showed her curves perfectly, and her tight jeans hugged her hips in a way that made Sirius drool. Her hair was a nicely-styled blond that drew the eye. Sirius gaped at her figure, drooling and wagging his tail. He dearly wished he was in human form. He hated passing up the opportuning to chat up something like that.

The woman turned towards him and smiled, then kneeled down. "Here, doggy, doggy, doggy!" she called.

With a mental grin, Sirius trotted up to her, wagging his tail in a friendly fashion.

"Why hello there, aren't you a good boy?" she crooned, scratching his back.

Sirius jumped up and licked her face. It was amazing what he could get away with as a dog. She giggled and smacked him lightly on the nose.

"Down, boy!"

Sirius wagged his tail and sat down, giving her puppy eyes as she reached into the van and grabbed something. He whined at being ignored and plopped his head on her lap, getting a nice view of those D-cups in the process. He might not be human right now, but women always let their guards down around a friendly young dog.

She giggled and resumed petting him. Sirius leered at her, ogling her breasts as she leaned closer. He could almost see down her front. As such, he completely ignored whatever she was holding in her left hand.

This was a mistake would regret that for the rest of his life. As Moody would shout, "Constant Vigilance!"

A moment later, a collar tightened around Sirius' neck. If he had been paying attention, he would have noticed the words "Animal Control" painted on the van in large, red letters.

* * *

Sirius sighed in boredom and circled in his cage, stretching his muscles as much as he was able to in the enclosed space. When he had first been captured, he had been taken off guard, embarrassed, and angry. However, he had kept his head and realized that he could not transform back in front of a muggle. When the girl and her co-worker had shut him in the van, he had decided to wait until they reached their destination and then transform.

His strategy had backfired. As soon as he arrived, he had been shoved into this small cage, barely taller than his current form, a meter long, and half a meter wide. Unfortunately, he could not transform back here because the cage was too small.

Sirius dearly hoped that James would realize what had happened and come to retrieve him soon. He had heard the muggles talking and learned that dogs were "put down" or "euthanized" if they were not adopted in a certain time frame. He shuddered in horror. He had decided to give James three days. If he was not retrieved by this evening, he was breaking out and damn the Statute of Secrecy. Obliviators could take care of the rest.

He raised his head a moment later as the woman who fed him and took him for short walks in the doggy play area (toilet) twice a day came in. He made puppy eyes at her and wagged his tail. He had decided to play the nice dog until he had a chance to make a break for it.

The woman petted him as usual and hooked a leash around his neck. He wagged his tail some more and crawled out of the cage, then jumped up and licked her, making sure to plant his head in her breasts. If he was going to be caged as a dog he might as well get some use out of it.

The woman gently shoved him off, commanding, "Down, boy!" with a giggle. A moment later, she led him out of the room. He followed her along the usual route, but was startled to be dragged off course by the woman.

"Not now, sweetie. It's your turn to visit the doctor," she said dryly. "Don't worry about a thing. He's just going to check that you're healthy and take care of any medical stuff that is required before we can sell you. Then you'll be off to a new home in no time, I'm sure, a sweetie like you," she said, petting him as he walked beside her.

The short walk to the veterinarian was interrupted by many attempts to 'grope' his watcher's breasts and butt, but eventually they arrived at their destination. He was promptly left in the care of a kindly middle-aged woman who had him sit on a scale, peered in his ears, nose, and mouth, and took his temperature with something in his rear end. Altoegther, it reminded him of how he had seen magical creature specialists examine their subjects. Well, aside from the 'thermometer'. However, muggles could not take temperature with magic, so Sirius supposed that it made sense. He tried to run from the 'thermometer' anyway.

When the usual checks were done and he was registered as being in good health, the woman told him it was time to "put him under" for his "procedure" and that he would be just fine. She patted him on the head and stuck him with a syringe. As Sirius' world faded to black, he thought, ' _Whoohoo! Free drugs... The sky is purple... James...'_ He certainly did not mind the occasional experiment with banned substances.

Some time later, Sirius woke up to a dull ache in his groin. Blearily, he tried to reach down and check what was wrong with his parts. Had he slept with the wrong woman last night?

As his mind began to recover, he realized that he was in dog form and remembered getting drugged last night. ' _What did they do to me?'_ Sirius wondered, trying to crane his head around to see his crotch. However, his cone stuck on the cage and he was unable to turn his head.

Sirius wiggled about for a bit, trying to move his head, then realized what was happening. As a human, he understood the concept of a cone held on by Velcro. He maneuvered his cone until it caught on the edge of the cage and pulled. The seal loosened but did not come free, so he repeated the process three more times. On the fourth attempt, his cone finally fell free. Sirius promptly took a look at his crotch and froze in horror.

' _Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!'_ he thought.

"Arwoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!" was what left his mouth.

* * *

Two days of misery later, he was surprised to see a familiar face outside his cage. Lily potter stared back at him. Sirius sprang to his feet and whined in a mixture of misery and relief.

"Sirius? Is that you?" she asked.

Sirius nodded frantically. He needed to get out of here before the muggles could do worse. _'Not that there is anything worse left to do…'_ Sirius thought in misery. He they had anally raped him with a 'thermometer' in the name of checking his temperature and then they had taken his manhood!

He should have been out of here days ago, but between soreness and general depression, Sirius had been too miserable to move.

Lily turned back to the doorway and called, "James, he's in here!"

His best friend in the whole, wide world soon sprinted around the corner, coming to a halt beside his wife. The brown eyes hidden behind thick glasses stared at him in shock and relief.

"Padfoot! There you are, old boy!" he exclaimed with obvious relief, falling to his knees in front of Sirius' cage. Sirius whined and wagged his tail, easing his way to the entrance of his cage. "Don't worry, we'll get you out of here in a jiffy."

Sirius nosed his friend's hands as James kneeled in front of him. "We looked everywhere for you when you vanished. Thought you might have been dead, that Avery might have delivered you to the Death Eaters. Lily finally realized we needed to check the local pound yesterday." James said, teary-eyed with relief.

Sirius whined with joy at seeing his friend again and wagged his tail.

Lily took care of the papers, claiming that Sirius was their escaped dog. They made her pay to 'adopt' him, and soon they were out of the pound. James got a laugh out of the fact that they now 'owned' Sirius.

As soon as they were out of sight, Sirius transformed back, feeling the stitches pull at his groin. He groaned in pain and misery, then broke down sobbing.

"Are you okay, mate?" James asked, while Lily stared in silent worry.

"NO! They… They… Those people…" Sirius sobbed. He turned to Lily. "They neutered me! It's positively unnatural! I could have run if I'd known they would do that!" he wailed, crying manly tears. Not that he was a full man at the moment.

James stared at him in incomprehension. "Neutered? What's that?"

Sirius whimpered and clutched his groin. That tipped Lily over the edge, and she laughed.

Sirius glared at her.

"I'm sorry, Sirius," she apologized sincerely, "I know I shouldn't laugh, but… Do you know how many times the other girls used to say you need to be castrated?"

Sirius whimpered in misery. James, standing by his wife, turned green and gaped at his friend in shock.

"Don't worry. It's not like there was any Dark Magic involved. I'm sure Poppy can grow them back. Then you can look back on this and laugh."

James looked even more green than before. "That's not the sort of thing a guy laughs about, Lils," he said in a chocked voice, unconsciously shielding his groin.

She smiled apologetically. "I really am sorry for laughing, Sirius. I'm sure it was very traumatic."

Sirius whimpered. "Just get me to the hospital right now!"

James snapped into motion and grabbed his friend, then apparated to St. Mungos, where Sirius was promptly treated by a rather confused male healer. Thankfully, he really did grow them back, although the length of time since the injury meant the procedure was less effective than it should have been.

* * *

When Harry was born, there was still some doubt that Sirius would ever have children. James appointed him godfather, so Sirius, in a moment of inspiration, named Harry his heir. That would keep his money out of the hands of Death Eaters if he was killed.

* * *

When Sirius was captured after the Potter's murder, Dumbledore was certain they had the right man. After all, Black was the most likely secret keeper. He had bragged about his position. Dumbledore was also secretly sure that the man had held a grudge after the muggles had captured and neutered him a few years back. After all, if rescue had come a few days sooner, the man would have never had such a traumatic experience. Dumbledore also suspected it was this event that led Sirius to hate muggles. As much as he regretted Sirius' fall, he understood. Cutting off a man's balls was a serious issue.

* * *

When Sirius met Harry again after James' death, Sirius' first thought was to adopt Harry. After all, he was the closest thing to a son he was ever likely to have.


End file.
